well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
