Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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