Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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