so that wasnt chicken after all
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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