And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
We had to coat check the pizza.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
