There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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