I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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