none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
