A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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