Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
