roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
