It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
