Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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