I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
