I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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