IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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