did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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