No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
