I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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