Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
