Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I bet he comes in French.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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