1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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