life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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