This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
