ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
