If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
