I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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