Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
