Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
