Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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