I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
