EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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