i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
