look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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