she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
