Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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