i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
