all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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