i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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