trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
