Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
