when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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