The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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