Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
