Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
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