I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
