you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize