and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
