You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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