So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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