ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
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