sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
