Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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