she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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