I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
