The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
