So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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