but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
